​Bones Worth Breaking by David Martinez is a memoir about a pair of brothers both struggling with drug addictions, childhood trauma, and the reverberations of living as mixed-race kids. Though, it’s so much more than that. It’s about skateboarding, the brother’s unbreakable bond, Martinez’s LDS mission in Brazil, his marriage, his writing journey, and his brother, Mike’s, death from sepsis due to COVID while in prison. The memoir spans Martinez’s struggles with doing hard drugs which were used to cope with his childhood sexual trauma, strict conservative household, and his bipolar disorder. It’s a deeply personal and important story which shows the divergence of the two brothers bonding over skateboarding and doing drugs, and the difficulties of hiding mental illness and drug abuse. While the whole memoir infuses itself with importance of the brother’s love, I felt the greatest connection when reading Mike’s emails while Martinez is on his mission in Brazil. The pain and knowledge of what is to come for Mike is raw and bleeds in each moment. Martinez writes about a painful and hard life, and I feel now changed because of it.
 
Final Rating: 5/5

​State of Paradise by Laura van den Berg is a novel about a ghostwriter living in Florida whose sister becomes obsessed with a VR headset called MIND’S EYE. Set at the tail end of a pandemic, the narrator discusses her past episodes then her admittance into a mental hospital, her father’s passing, her runner husband, and her mother unknowingly beginning a cult. It follows the narrator as she experiences strange weather occurrences and then the disappearance of her sister. She believes it has something to do with MIND’S EYE, so she goes into the virtual world which turns out to be a parallel universe where her sister died from the pandemic and she is an author as opposed to a ghostwriter. In the parallel world, they find out that the narrator’s employer is dead and the assistants continue to publish formulaic novels as well as the fact that the creator of MIND’S EYE was close friends to the author the narrator ghostwrites. Her half twin sisters then take her to the bedside of the father in the parallel universe, soon coming upon the idea that all of them should return to the narrator’s world. When they return, the pandemic has started to change people’s bodies and the twins decide to move away, thus being saved from their initial world.
 
van den Berg writes in sharp prose that electrify the weird and strange things that occur in the novel. The narrator’s sister’s eyes continually change color, her belly button becomes a deep tunnel then smooths over, while other body transformations being described in interesting ways. I loved the idea of ghosts (i.e. the narrator being a ghostwriter as well as her father’s ghost talking to her sister through MIND’S EYE) that van den Berg weaves throughout the novel. It’s a climate novel, a pandemic novel, and a novel that uses its surrealness to create moments of tenderness.
 
Final Rating: 5/5

​Let’s Go Let’s Go Let’s Go by Cleo Qian is a collection of stories mainly about Asian American women living lives that are surreal, magical, or supernatural. There were many stories I enjoyed, particularly, ‘Chicken. Film. Youth’ about a man who has a theater attached to his chicken restaurant, ‘Wing and the Radio’ about a famous singer and a radio host, ‘The Girl with the Double Eyelids’ about a girl who can see strange tattoos on people’s skin after she gets surgery on her eyes which then leads to finding out her best friend is dating their Chemistry teacher, ‘Let’s Go Let’s Go Let’s Go’ about a group of friends doing an experimental art piece by streaming their lives in a remote house online, ‘Power and Control’ about a woman who is an alchemist and tries to keep her girlfriend with her by manipulating and controlling her, and ‘Seagull Village’ where a woman, Miho, is the only surviving person in the town after the earthquake in Japan. It’s a brilliant collection and I was completely enthralled by the drama that ensued within ‘The Girl with the Double Eyelids’. Qian uses the surreal and supernatural in ways that aren’t overbearing, but lead to the story’s climaxes (either in the weird tattoos revealing something about the character’s inner lives or the changing or reality to benefit a relationship). Overall, I really enjoyed the collection.
 
Final Rating: 5/5

​Martyr! by Kaveh Akbar is a novel following the recovery of an addict, Cyrus Shams, and his desire to make himself a martyr. After his mother dies in a plane shot down by US forces, Cyrus and his father, Ali, move to America to try and leave their grief behind. Ali gets a job at a chicken farm cleaning eggs and tries to support Cyrus until he goes to college. Cyrus attends Keady University where he meets Zee, a soon to be friend/lover, where they start doing drugs, at one point nearly chopping Cyrus’s toe off while high with an axe for a voyeuristic man. However, Cyrus begins to spiral into addiction where he finds himself finally crawling out of with the help of his sponsor, Gabe. While two years sober at an open mic, and attempting to write his book on martyrs, one of their friends suggests Cyrus travel to New York City from Indiana to meet an artist. The artist, Orkideh, is doing her final show, ‘Death-Speak’, in which she sits and converses with visitors on death as she will be dying from cancer soon. Cyrus can see it as a huge part of his book and so enlists the help of Zee to join him in New York for the weekend. While at the museum, Orkideh and Cyrus meet and begin to have a conversation over the next few days about death, martyrdom, other visitors, and addiction. On one of the nights, Zee and Cyrus have a large argument about how Cyrus sees Zee’s life amounting to nothing while he is trying to make something of his death. The following day, Cyrus goes to the exhibit, though finds Orkideh had taken pills and died the night before. Then, after fainting and recovering, Cyrus gets a phone call from the curator needing to discuss Orkideh, where it is eventually revealed that Orkideh is Cyrus’s mother. The curator and Cyrus meet at the park, where she describes what happened to his mother, that her lover got on the plane instead of her, how she fled to America after, and how she built her life as an artist. Afterward, Zee calls Cyrus where they meet at the park. Though, this time Cyrus can see how selfish he was dragging Zee along, not only to New York, but how terrible of a friend he is. The novel ends in a surrealist moment where the city is morphing and changing around them after all the death and the truths that had been revealed.
 
Along with the main narrative, Akbar weaves moments of Cyrus’s mother’s past into the story as well as dream sequences of famous people talking to people Cyrus knows. Also spread throughout are draft excerpts of Cyrus’s book about martyrs. It’s a really engaging, passionate, and intensely visual novel about addiction, recovery, and friendships. I was deeply moved by the conversations Cyrus has with Orkideh and astounded at the way Akbar pulled in references to religion and the philosophical nature of the inner thoughts of the characters. I also found it especially powerful when a story that is recounted about a man serving two military drafts (one for his dead brother and one for himself) parallels with how Orkideh’s lover dies and she must take her identity in the beginning to continue her life in America. A truly awe-inspiring novel.
 
Final Rating: 5/5

​Memorial by Bryan Washington is a novel about two men, Mike and Benson, navigating their strained relationship in Texas. After Mike’s mom, Mitsuko, arrives for a trip from Japan and tells him that his father is ill and dying, Mike immediately flies out to see if he can be of any help. This leaves Benson and Mitsuko to live together at Mike’s place for an undetermined amount of time. Mitsuko is initially cold with Benson as he goes about his weeks working at a day care. Benson then gets a call from his sister that their father is always drunk and likely will run himself into the ground. Though, Benson dislikes the idea of going to his father because he had kicked Benson out once he found out he had HIV. One day, the brother of one of the kids Benson daycares for, Omar, begins to take a liking to him. They go on a few dates, which they don’t call dates, and in fact Omar calls Benson over to help calm his younger brother down. At the goading of his sister, Benson goes to his father’s place where he sees the state his father lives in. Then, at a coworker’s wedding, Benson gets the call that his father had fallen down, and Omar rushes with him to care for his father. The whole time, Mitsuko and Benson’s relationship starts to warm up where they cook together. Then, Mike returns home after his father dies.
 
Meanwhile in Japan, Mike returns to his father’s place where he is coldly welcomed. His father, Eiju, runs a bar mainly filled with locals and is helped out by a clumsy young man, Kunihiko. As his father refuses treatment for his illness, Mike begins to see the deterioration before him. One of the customers that comes in, Tan, takes a liking to Mike where they begin to have an undefined relationship. Mike has a difficult time trying to understand his father, and why he had left their family years ago. Though, Mike also sees Eiju has started to act like a father to Kunihiko in ways that Mike couldn’t experience. Then, one night Eiju passes away in his sleep and the future of the bar is left undetermined. Eiju had given the choice to Mike on running the bar or on giving it to Kunihiko. Though, Mike decides to return to Texas and come back once he is able to figure things out with Benson.
 
Upon Mike’s return, Mike and Mitsuko begin making arrangements and Mike and Benson’s relationship is pulled into focus with the contrast of the relationships they started when Mike was gone. Eventually, it all comes to a head when Benson’s family arrives at Mike’s door with his father planning to apologize for how terrible he was about the fact that Benson is gay. Though, Mike and Mitsuko also arrive at the house a little later with groceries where Mike and Benson cook a large meal for both families. Mitsuko then decides to return to Japan, and Mike plans to follow her, leaving Benson back in Texas. Mitsuko pushes back, telling Benson essentially that going back to Japan is not the right decision for her son and that she thinks Mike staying with Benson is. The night before Mitsuko leaves, they go and spread Eiju’s ashes at a park and go to a restaurant where Mitsuko gets quite drunk. Yet, she tells them through a story of how her and Eiju met that Eiju was cowardly to leave the family and tries to say that Benson needs to convince Mike to stay. The novel ends with Mitsuko at the airport, with Mike intending to leave a few weeks later.
 
The book is structured in a way that pulls the reader very close to the two main characters. First, we get to see what it’s like for Benson when Mike goes to Japan, then from Mike’s perspective in Japan, and finally from Benson when Mike returns. It’s a novel about fathers being terrible to their sons and how those sons deal with the trauma they received. One instance of a father kicking his son out, another of the father leaving his family. I was floored at how well the interactions between the characters are rendered, and the tension riding between their conversations. And while the novel leaves us with a question of whether Benson convinces Mike to stay or not, it shows the depth and nuances of their relationship. A sometimes humorous and witty novel that has left me breathless.
 
Final Rating: 5/5

​The Storm We Made by Vanessa Chan is about a Malay family living both before and during the Japanese occupation. Two storylines parallel each other, the first in which the mother, Cecily, helps an undercover Japanese officer, Fujiwara, thwart Britain’s stronghold on the country. Cecily provides information to Fujiwara from her husband who works closely with the municipal government. They learn there is a plan to build a port, so Cecily and Fujiwara concoct a scheme to gather as much information as they can on when/where it will be built. Eventually, the constructed port goes up in flames and Fujiwara evades detection by leaving. Along with their schemes, Cecily and Fujiwara begin to have an intimate relationship. Fujiwara then returns with a woman, Lina, who once lived in Bintang, but left because her first husband had been accused and killed for starting the fire. Lina and Fujiwara return, where Fujiwara continues to gather information, while having an affair with Cecily. Both Lina and Cecily become pregnant, and both have girls. However, Fujiwara leaves right before Lina gives birth. Lina waits for Fujiwara to return before giving birth, which starves the child of oxygen, and the midwife has to pull the baby out, scarring her head forever. Lina then dies as Cecily helps her create names for their children.
 
Years later once the Japanese occupy Malay, they take Cecily’s son, Abel, and force him to work at a camp building a railroad for transport. At the camp, Abel is beaten, raped, and thrown into a chicken coop where he becomes an alcoholic. Abel is then forced to kill the person who took him from his home. He meets a slightly younger boy, Freddie, who likes to draw and who helps Abel in his drunken stupor. As the war begins to wane, Freddie leads the rest of the boys in creating an exit plan while Abel is barely able to stay alive. Once Japan surrenders, Britain bombs the camp they stay at, killing Freddie in the process. Finally, Abel returns with Freddie’s drawing to a home that has seen so much loss.
 
In the time of Abel’s disappearance, the two remaining children, Jasmin and Jujube, try to survive under the occupation. Jujube works at a teahouse serving Japanese soldiers where she meets Takahashi, a school teacher, who is not violent like the rest of the men. They begin to have a friendship, though it’s strained when Takahashi discusses his daughter back in Japan. Cecily, knowing that young girls are taken by soldiers to be workers at a brothel, disguises Jasmin as a boy, cuts her hair short, and hides her in the basement when soldiers come by. One day, another girl, Yuki, finds Jasmin in the basement where they begin to have a friendship. Jasmin then leaves the basement with Yuki where they go to the brothel where Yuki is held. After returning, Jujube finds out Jasmin has been leaving the basement where she becomes furious and that causes Jasmin to run away. Jasmin goes to a storeowner to get Yuki’s blood off her pajamas where she meets Fujiwara. Fujiwara takes her into a mansion where she stays most of the day and at night returns to the brothel to meet with Yuki. Jasmin convinces Yuki to join her at Fujiwara’s mansion where they get discovered by Cecily who was looking for her daughter. Fujiwara returns to the house as well where it is revealed that Yuki is his daughter he had with Lina and they fight about what is to happen to the girls. As the adults talk, Jasmin and Yuki run away to the brothel, but once it’s set on fire they hunker down in a wheelbarrow where they are burned alive. Fujiwara, Cecily, and Jujube run to the fire and search for the daughters, but soon realize they have been burned up. In the end, once Abel returns, they watch as Fujiwara surrenders. Finally, the family receives a letter from Takahashi with flowers drawn in calendar dates and they hang it next to the drawings and the tin with bones the family believes are Yuki and Jasmin.
 
This novel is deeply tragic, devastating, and powerful in the way it renders the occupation, the violence, and the relationships of the characters. It confronts questions of colonialism, and shows that any occupation completely devastates a people. The novel also weaves the past and the present seamlessly through Cecily and her children’s eyes. I am completely floored at the depth and breadth of which these characters are explored and how they confront oppression in all of its forms. While reading, I was reminded of the novel Beasts of a Little Land by Juhea Kim which also confronts Japanese occupation and violence, though in Korea. I am utterly astounded at both how Chan wrangles the subject matter and how she explores how the characters navigate devastation.
 
Final Rating: 5/5

​Nip the Buds, Shoot the Kids by Kenzaburō Ōe follows the lives of fifteen reformatory boys as they are transported to a village to bury animals and then abandoned. They arrive at the moment where a soldier has defected and the remaining soldiers are sent out to look for him. The soldiers aren’t able to find the defector, but a larger more pressing matter occurs when a woman and loads of animals show up dead with bloated stomachs. The villagers see this as a plague that they must escape, so one night when the boys are left in an unlocked shack, the villagers leave. The next day, the boys find the village empty and learn that the exit out of the village is blocked off by a guard, so they are stuck there. While in the village, the boys gather food from the houses and try to survive in the cold winter. They go ice skating in the center square, they kill birds and have a feast, and the main character meets and then has sex with a girl that was also abandoned. The defected soldier is shown to them by one of the village boys, Li, who had stayed behind. The main character’s brother then finds and adopts a dog, but when it bites the girl, she comes down with the plague and eventually dies with the defector caring for her. The boys believe the dog had the plague, which causes one of the boys, Minami, to kill it. Then the main character’s brother runs away and never be seen again. The next day, the villagers return to berate and throw the boys into a shack, while the men search and find the defector. The villagers stab the defector and then send him with the military police, while the rest of the boys are beaten into submission and told to never mention the plague or their abandonment. The main character retaliates, which causes the villagers to send him away where they try to kill him. The novel ends with the main character on the ground in the forest ready to take on the villagers searching for him.
 
Ōe never seems to disappoint, and even with such a heavy and depressing book, there are beautiful moments and relationships that blossom. I was also intrigued with the way Ōe approaches the characters’ sexualities. One of the main characters, Minami, is shown as explicitly gay, discussing having sex with soldiers, doing his “morning make-up” which involves his butt, and his blunt lewd comments. There are other moments of sexual ambiguity among the boys watching their erections in a group together and displaying their penises to villagers. And it also occurs when the main character and the defector “…tasted a small miserable pleasure in each other. Silently we bared our poor goose-pimpled buttocks, losing ourselves in the motion of cunning fingers.” The main character’s sexuality is even more ambiguous when it’s shown he also thinks about and has sex with the girl. This openness to sexuality, particularly in the fifties when this was published in Japan, does seem quite out of the ordinary, but not an outlier (as one only has to look at Yukio Mishima’s Confessions of a Mask). It’s a dark book that gets worse as it goes, in displaying the villager’s brutality and the way life affects each character. However, it’s one that will stick with me.
 
Final Rating: 5/5

The Sailor Who Fell from Grace with the Sea by Yukio Mishima is a novel about a thirteen-year-old boy, Noboru, who is in a gang while his mother is a widow. One day, his mother is invited onto a vessel to help out an actress where they meet Ryuji, a sailor. Ryuji is in port for a few days, and begins to take a liking to Noboru’s mother, Fusako. Over the course of those few days, they sleep together while Noboru watches through a peephole from his room. Due to the gang’s hatred for fathers and the adult world, Noboru is conflicted because he adores Ryuji’s profession and idolizes him, while also disliking the fact that he doesn’t fit the standards of the gang. On one of the days Ryuji is still there, Noboru and the gang capture a stray cat, kill it, skin it, and crush its organs in their hands. Upon returning from their killing, Ryuji sees them, but doesn’t suspect anything. Once Ryuji’s leave is over, he returns to his ship, the Rakuyo, and sails away. Ryuji returns in the winter, where he intends to stay on land due to his love for Fusako by proposing to her. However, Ryuji is still heartbroken about leaving his sailing life and likes to tell stories of his tales whenever he can. Everything comes to a head when one night Fusako and Ryuji are making love in the dark when they spy the light of the peep hole and find Noboru sleeping there. Once he’s found out, Noboru believes Ryuji will give him a beating (one Fusako even directed), but is likely even more shamed when it results in a comforting talk from Ryuji. Betrayed by his idol, Noboru goes to his gang with all the wrongs that Ryuji committed, and the gang concocts a plan to drug and kill Ryuji. The day of the wedding, Noboru lures Ryuji out to meet the gang by the docks, where they get on a train, hike through a tunnel, and arrive on a desolate hill overlooking the sea. Ryuji is somewhat suspicious, but enjoys the fact that they were interested in his sailor tales, so he begins discussing all of his adventures. While he is speaking, Ryuji begins to second guess his decision to stay on land. Then, Noboru offers him tea laced with sleeping pills, which he drinks, and the gang’s plans are set in motion.
 
In this novel, Mishima has concocted a deftly violent, intriguing, and impassioned piece of literature. There are moments that are rendered in absolutely terrifying detail (i.e. the cat scene), and his understanding of violence, love, and betrayal are striking. What interested me was the near irony of belief of some of the boys in the gang and the way they treated fathers. Fathers, in their eyes, were scum and because they were scum, nothing they could do would save them from their own being. While some of the boy’s hatred stemmed justifiably (i.e. parents beating them or absent), it was noted at least one of the boys had a loving father that prayed with them. From an outside perspective, this type of thinking is completely illogical, though when Ryuji began to step into the role of being a father, he was lumped in with the rest of them. I found it to be an interesting take on how the identity of someone can be what people hate even though they did nothing wrong. In this case, Fusako had an agency look into Ryuji’s past and found nothing but an upstanding sailor and man. Mishima thus constructs an ideal man: no debts, faithful, hard-working, doesn’t reprimand, strong, and outgoing. And yet, the ideal is still the death of him in the eyes of the gang. In some ways, the gang’s thought process is contradictory in that the boys couldn’t be alive if not for their fathers and yet the boys utterly despise them. Also, Mishima even goes out to say that the boys come from well-to-do backgrounds commenting on their large lunches, and yet Mishima demonstrates an evil inside of the boys.
 
The structure of the novel leads itself to being masterly crafted, with not only the seasons factoring into the tone of the novel (i.e. summer = passion, winter = violence), but in the way the novel expertly cuts off once the reader knows the inevitable. After having read only a handful of Mishima’s novels, I can certainly tell I will enjoy the rest.
 
Final Rating: 5/5

​A Quiet Life by Kenzaburō Ōe is a novel about a woman and her older brother who is handicapped. Their father and mother travel to California where the father is trying to get out of writer’s block, and believes being a writer-in-residence will help him. All the while, the woman, Ma-chan, the older brother, Eeyore, and younger brother, O-chan, continue to live in Japan. Ma-chan has taken up the responsibility of caring for Eeyore, taking him to music practice at Mr. Shigeto’s, taking him to his job at a handicap workshop, and eventually to swim practices with Mr. Arai. Throughout the novel, Ma-chan worries that Eeyore will either have his fits out in public, will be hurt by other people, or will act out his sexual urges. None of this comes to pass, but her worries become real when it’s alluded to that Mr. Arai was involved in two deaths on a cruise. They continue to get swimming lessons with Mr. Arai, until one day when Mr. Shigeto approaches him about an incident and then gets beat up. Finally, as Ma-chan talks about her dreams of marrying a Mr. Arai, Eeyore discusses this with Mr. Arai. Mr. Arai then decides to take them to his place, where he attempts to have sex with Ma-chan, but is beat up by Eeyore. The novel ends with their mother returning home and the father still toiling away in America.
 
Ōe creates such an interesting narrative through his use of Ma-chan’s voice, the discussions of movies, music, and of Ma-chan’s worry. It’s a novel that highly contemplates what it means to care for a disabled family member, and shows in some instances, the reverse (i.e. the care giver needs to be the one who is cared for) is true. This occurs while Eeyore protects Ma-chan from an oncoming crowd at a train station even while he is having a fit and in the last moment where Eeyore beats up Mr. Arai to save Ma-chan from being raped. It’s a compelling novel that shows the breadth of the care siblings have for each other.
 
Final Rating: 5/5

​The Resurrection Appearances: Fragments of a Daybook by Jay Aquinas Thompson is a nonfiction chapbook detailing the days, weeks, and months after the death of their mother. It recounts the moment they encountered her body, her life, as well as ruminations on Christianity. I particularly liked the lines, “When people asked me how grief felt, I’d say it didn’t feel like anything, it wasn’t a feeling; it was a metabolism.” and, “God is a fire victim on bedrest: from each burn point an angel is born;” It’s a deeply moving chapbook on how Thomson views their mother’s death, how their child, Finn, deals with these emotions, and what it all means within the context of religion. Thomson finishes off by writing, “There’s no and then I realized…moment in grief…”
 
Final Rating: 5/5